Saturday, June 19, 2010

Seriously. We are blessed and lucky and loved.

It was a hard day...Not like yesterday. STILL. There are terminal children on this floor who do not have a chance. There are ambulances wheeling in gurneys of people who will not last the night. Leukemia is painful to watch and live through, but we are one of the lucky ones. When Gideon is over this battle, he will be such an inspiration. He will encourage others just diagnosed. He will live each day thankful for each breath he fought for years ago... How much more beautiful is a sunset when the realization sets in that you may have never witnessed it? We will not take our blessings for granted.

Blessings of the day:

* Jamelle Murray, a WMU football star, visited us this morning. He overcame Hodgkins Lymphoma and made Gideon smile through the pain.

* Gideon got over his chemotherapy injection shots pretty well.

* I went home and noticed cleaning fairies had descended upon our house. AND I took a nap. AND I danced like a fool in the kitchen. AND I took a shower.

* When I opened my mailbox at home, 35 cards came pouring out. Thirty five! I read every word and felt my soul doused in support and love. THANK YOU, thank you, THANK YOU!

* Brody spent the day with his GOOD FRIEND Brady Crocker.

* Ann Thornton brought me a sandwich and laughter.

* Gideon would only eat sherbet for dinner, but it helped to numb his aching jaw. (We'll take it!)

* Before Gideon went to bed he said, "C'mere, mom! I've got some kisses and hugs for you!" Nothing sweeter than unsolicited lovin'.

The media bombards us with images of evil and destruction, but I'm here to say that humanity is BEAUTIFUL and loving and giving. There is no doubt that the human soul is brimming over with all things exquisite. I am witnessing this and feeling this every single day. Grateful. Appreciative. Relieved that my boys will grow up in a world such as ours. You have all given me hope.


  1. Your faith and spirit and outlook on life are inspiring! Praying for you.....xoxo Michelle

  2. Manda - it was so good to see you and Gideon tonight. That verse you posted about Gideon in Judges bowled me over! Praying God will continue to strengthen and empower you for Gideon. You are his true angel.
    We love you so much!

  3. Amanda,

    My "heart bursts" for you guys several times a day. I have come slightly addicted to checking the blog and postings. It is that every mother "fight" in me...we can all rally together to make Gideon perfectly healthy again. "I love that boy," and I just met him a week ago. You have done such a wonderful job of sharing how incredible he is. We are praying for you guys constantly. Todd and I love reading your are an amazing writer. You seriously need to keep all of these postings and publish this as a book. It is a perfect piece for families to read about the journey. Thinking of you and "Tom" especially today on Father's day.

    The Tulgestkes

  4. You are inspiring to those of us who read your blog every day (sometimes more than once every day)! I can only imagine how inspiring you are to your children and those around you on a daily basis!

  5. Love you Mrs. Ray of Sunshine! We are praying for your family all the time. I am so glad you have all the support that you do. Little Faries are amazing.

  6. Thanks for pouring your heart out in the blog, Amanda. Your talent is amazing and it helps me so much to know what to pray for. I know it must help you sort all your feelings out as well.
    I love all the photos. Know that we not only pray, but we cry with you, too. We are there because you helped make it so. God bless you and sweet Gideon and precious Brody and Tom, too!!!

  7. Dearest Amanda, I have always known that you had a pure, beautiful, loving soul, from the very first moment I saw you (and held you-then you spit up on me, but that's another story). It has only been more and more confirmed through the years. Somehow, by some miracle, the ugliness in the world just made you stronger, more beautiful, and more loving as the years went by.

    You are one of those inherently good and loving people... that you are being tried so sorely now is a testament to how much God must believe in your ability to overcome even this heartbreak. You know I am not overly religious, but *I* truly believe that He is at your side, helping you through all the "heart bursts," doubt, grief, and pain. We are there too, if only in spirit.

    I check here several times a day, and log into my Facebook far more often than I ever did, just to see if there are updates. Your writing is spellbinding; it's as though we are all right there, witnessing the peaks and valleys along with you. I heartily agree with Katrina when she said that you should save all these posts and publish them. This blog will be a terrific inspiration to any other mother who has to walk the same path!

    Know that you are ALL so VERY loved... and that Gideon's Army will continue marching along that road with you, all the way!!
    ~~Aunt Nancy~~

  8. Gideon IS such an inspiration to me already. I don't know him, or you guys...but I want to...with every ounce of my being. I am praying for you all! God will use Gideon in such a special way through all of this!! Jenelle

  9. Amanda, I hope you are not insulted by my comparison of a week in the NICU to a terrifying diagnosis, but I couldn't help be reminded of my own feelings of gratitude when I read this particular blog entry. When Zoe was in the NICU with her lung tear and subsequent blood infection, she was sick, but not nearly as sick as the premies that surrounded her. I felt so scared and sad for my new baby at times, but mostly I felt like "one of the lucky ones" because she was full term.

    I commend your strength in this terribly trying time and am inspired by the amazing entries I've been reading. Please know you are in my thoughts often.

    We are always stronger than we know.

    Courtney Stewart