The Beginning of the Battle...

My heart is bursting with so many emotions. I am choosing to focus on the most positive one right now, and that is the unmistakeable presence of God. We are overwhelmed by the outpour of love and prayers and phone calls. I know that it is your prayers that is helping my heart stay aloft through this. This blog will be my way of communicating with all of you: friends, family, and even strangers who want to be a part of Gideon's battle with Leukemia. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being willing to walk with us through it all. I'm in the camp that believes there can NEVER be too much support and love. You will never bother me with questions, and YES, I will ask for help!

A little about Gideon...

Gideon James Schripsema turned three on March 27. Since the day he was born, light has poured from him. He has an uncanny sense of empathy that makes everyone (even the hardest of souls) smile. Gideon wants to please, please, please and brings peace to any situation. Blessings are pointed out by him on a consistent basis ("Look, mom! That flower is opening. You love flowers!"). You will witness firsthand the sweet musings of this unique little mind. Gideon LOVES the Airzoo and has told me he will be a pilot someday. He loves to sing, and as he was getting his blood drawn yesterday he was sure to explain his love for airplanes, outer-space, and race cars ("with numbers on the sides"). He is in awe by every little thing. His enthusiasm over his hospital bed makes me just want to inhale him...

How this came to be...

On Wednesday night, I could hear Gideon calling for me from his room. When I got there, he was in tears. "Mommy, my leg hurts!" was what he said. I assumed he was having growing pains, so I gave him some Tylenol and I rubbed his leg until he was asleep again. The next morning, he was still favoring his other leg.

This happened again on Thursday night, and this time I slept with him so that every time he winced, I rubbed his leg or just applied pressure. This seemed to help him. In all other respects, he was the same cheerful boy.

By Friday, my last teaching day, he had a low-grade fever along with the pain. I called his Pediatrician and was told to call in the morning to make a Saturday walk-in appointment. Again, I slept with Gideon and rubbed him whenever he began to whimper. I was sure it was a crazy virus that I read about online...

Saturday: The most difficult day of my life...

We got in to see the doctor by 9:30 a.m. Dr. Sommers said she believed it was a virus. His knee (where most of the pain was located) was not swollen, inflamed, or hot to the touch. She did say that she wanted me to get to the hospital to do some blood work to rule out all other possibilities. This did not alarm me as I believed in my heart of hearts that it was protocol to be extra safe. I am a fan of being extra safe (especially with my baby boys).

Gideon and I went to the hospital. I explained to him that he was going to get a shot to make sure he was healthy. I was holding the lab sheet and him in my arms, so the lab sheet got all crumbled up. Gideon handed it to the receptionist and said, "Sorry it's messy. Mommy had her arms full of ME." (followed by his trademark toothy grin while pointing at himself with two huge enthusiastic thumbs). The receptionist smiled, of course, and Gideon told her he was okay with getting a shot. He will talk to everyone and anyone, that boy...

When we were called to the back, we walked in and Gideon said, "Hi! I'm Gideon. Please give me a shot and make my leg better, okay?" Melt. Everything that boy says makes me melt. I was sure that I would have to pin him down to get the blood drawn. Not at all. Gideon talked and talked and talked through the whole thing. He said, "My brother Brody doesn't cry when he gets shots. I won't, either. I'm brave like him." When he was told to get a prize for being so wonderful, he asked, "Can I have one for Brody, too?" I have never seen that boy so excited as when he was strapped into his carseat and ready to give Brody his silver airplane he picked out. "Brody will LOVE this, won't he mommy?" He kept asking. He didn't stop smiling and zooming his planes in circles the entire ride.

An hour and a half after the blood was drawn, we got a call from our Pediatrician. Since all of our cell phones ring when our home phone rings, Tom was the one who answered (he was at a birthday party with Brody). Tom called me and said, "Pack a bag and head to Bronson Children's Hospital. There are abnormalities in Gideon's blood, but it could still just be a virus." If a heart can't travel through the body and shatter to the ground, I'm pretty sure my soul did at that moment. Tears were instantaneous, and Gideon immediately started asking me what was wrong and kissing my face ("There. You're better, mommy."). I realized I had to pull it together for him, so I started "sneezing" and making jokes about the "DUST in this house" (which is true, if I'm being honest). I told him we were going on an adventure together. That we were going to take a trip to the hospital where there are beautiful paintings on the wall, a bed that moves, a TV HE can work, and a room full of toys. He made his shocked/ecstatic face, jumped up and down and yelled, "WOOOOOOOOOW! YAY!"

One (or possibly two) hour(s) into the stay, Dr. Sommers came in and said, "I'm so sorry. It is Leukemia." I am ashamed by how I responded. I honestly believed this would not be the news we would hear. Right in front of my Brody and my Gideon, I fell to the ground in a hysterical heap. I couldn't hear or see anything.... I never felt a total deadening of my senses, but I was told this was shock. I think I'm still in shock. I wish I would have been able to have the silent kind of shock. The silent head nod you see in the movies, but alas-- this Amanda is not so silent when it comes to emotions...

Facts...

* Gideon's anemic from the Leukemia, but does not need a transfusion at this time.

* His liver and spleen are NOT enlarged

* His lymph nodes are enlarged, but he has NO infections or bleeding

* Gideon shows no signs of it being in the Central Nervous System

* He had a chest xray done (which he "smiled" for like he was getting his picture done professionally... so much GUSTO!) and it is clear of fluid

* He doesn't have any "rare conditions" coupled with the Leukemia

* Gideon is constantly being flushed out with his IV (also didn't cry when that one was put in... In fact, the nurse said to stare at mommy while it was done and the honey said, "Isn't my mommy pretty?" Seriously. I can't ever be down with this endorphin-kicker-of-a-boy).

* We will have his spinal tap done on Monday and his bone marrow extraction. We will know after these tests if Gideon's diagnosis is Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL) or Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML). ALL is more favorable and easier to treat, so we are praying for that one.

* We will be here at Bronson Children's Hospital for at least three weeks.

* We will know the plan of action on Monday, and Gideon will be fixed up with a "Central Line" or a port in his chest for the Chemotherapy soon after.

* I am so thankful I didn't name Gideon "Luke," since that will be what I call this Leukemia guy who was NOT invited into our house, but we will work him OUT. No matter what, this cancer is HIGHLY treatable. It'll be a long battle, and I may not always sound like myself, but we will keep our eyes fixed to the heavens. It was NOT by accident that I changed my mind and gave Gideon his name. He is our mighty warrior with optimism and an unending happy spirit that he will use as his weapons...

Please pray for our boy, Gideon. Also, PLEASE pray for his big brother, Brody. Brody was beside himself when he had to leave last night. He had his first full-on temper tantrum... He screamed at us, "NO! I. WILL. NOT. LEAVE. MY. BROTHER! HE IS MY BEST FRIEND!" and then held on to the bed with a strength I didn't think was possible in a four (soon to be five) year old. He wouldn't stop crying and screaming. Before he was whisked away by daddy, he whispered, "I'm scared." Please help us to make his birthday on TUESDAY (June 15) a special one. This boy was blinking back tears all day yesterday...