Friday, February 18, 2011

Running Away

To all my fellow bedraggled, frazzled, and how-did-this-get-caught-in-my-hair mamas out there: There is hope even when you feel like a certifiable lunatic. This morning, Gideon was sick in his bucket, and he followed up this sickness with perpetual whining and crying. I don't know what it is about whining and crying, but it was as infectious as pink-eye this morning, I think. While Gideon was crying and couldn't whine out a sentence that I could comprehend, Brody ran into the room crying and trying to out-whine his brother so that his concerns were heard first. It was a cacophony of chaos in the kitchen (good title for a poem. I'm on it.). Under normal lucid moments, I would demand a halt in the carrying on and assure them both that I would listen to their problems and we would solve them together. I was not Supermommy this morning, though. Having had three straight hours of sleep last night and 4 the night before, I felt not one shred of Princess Mommy in these achy bones of mine. I saw myself as a separate entity at that moment... and took in the tepid coffee in one hand, hair in a snarled tangle, threadbare jammies and yesterday's mascara rubbed all over my face. I was a comic strip. I was a cliche. I could not handle the whining and the crying and I had no patience in that moment to be a good mommy. So, I ran away. As I ran I screamed, "AHHHHHH!" with my hands waving wildly (don't worry, I put down my coffee) to drive home the point that I meant business: I was insane and DON'T mess with me. I ran upstairs with no plans at all. My only plan was to escape. Then, in true 7-year-old fashion, I climbed underneath Gideon's bed and hid. I hid from my children. All of you people who have been complimenting me on my "great" moments, I just wanted to share a realistic and not-so-proud moment with all of you. In the silence under the bed, not only did I discover my lost earring attached to a pirate doll's ear, but I discovered the healing power of quiet. It felt like an answered prayer. Then, the miracle...

Brody and Gideon ceased their Wah-fest battle and I could hear them strategize in the hallway. Brody said, "Okay, we saw her come up here. I'll check the bathrooms, you check the bedrooms. Okay, Gids?" I heard Gideon say "Okay!" like he was assigned a detrimental task that would alter the galaxy for the rest of time. OH MY GOSH! My running away forced them to love one another and work together towards a COMMON GOAL! Instead of feeling guilty, I tucked this one away in my head for use later.

Once I was found, there were excited giggles and HOORAYS and carrying on. Guess what there wasn't? Sobbing. Whining. Crying. If there isn't a book out there about the magic of mommies running away (in the house, only...I'm not a fan of abandonment), there should be.

HAPPY WEEKEND TO YOU ALL! Gideon is ALMOST done with this stage of steroids. Phew. This one was different than the others when it came to the pain associated with it all. I'd rather him be a demanding bottomless pit than to be in pain. I can't wait for my Gideon to reappear again! I can't wait to SLEEP! I CAN'T WAIT FOR MY SPA DAY, you sweet-sweet perfection of a selfless human being (whoever you are)!


  1. This made me feel so good. You get us moms and you still ARE a supermom. I still want to raise my kids the way you do.
    ***Loves you, Melissa***

  2. Hello my name is Shawn and I too have a 11 year daughter who has leukemia and we go to the same clinic and the same Dr's. I sure we have cross paths there. Haylee has been going there since Aug 29 2009. I know just how you feel. My wife and I have fought all the same feelings you write about. I just saw your story on news what a brave little boy you have. Just thought I would say it's a long battle but the outcome is worth it. Keep your faith it does get easier . Thanks for your words and thoughts it helps people in ways you will never know. The Lewis'

  3. Mrs. scripsema! this is alexandria wyant! i surely hope u remeber me bc i remeber u! u are my favorite english teacher. i saw ur sons story on the news and brought tears to my eyes. dr. labell(sp) is a good doc i have blood disease he was my doc growing up and i hope for the best i would donate my blood but not sure it would help ur son is a true inspiration. hang in there and give him a high five for me and tell him hes my hero!