Cancer-FREE

Cancer-FREE

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

****Monday, FEBRUARY 21 at 5 p.m. -----

---is the date and time that WWMT channel 3 will be broadcasting their program about Gideon, miracles, angels among us, ways we can all help, etc. I cannot wait to see it! THANK YOU, Channel 3! You people are incredible! ---

I really need to know something... I hear about people out there who can function on little to no sleep at all. Are these people for real? Have they just somehow trained their bodies to think living in a perpetual haze is normal? And how do they end up NEVER putting hair smoothing serum on their toothbrush? (Guilty. Did that this morning.) If it is some sort of mind exercise or some kind of functioning trance they are under, I'd like to know. So, you sleepwalkers who are sleepwalking in a fully functional way, could you please hit me up with your secrets? I live on coffee during these weeks of Gideon steroids. I went to the doctor and actually asked if my coffee consumption was okay. I was told, "Your blood pressure is fine! You're good." Wow. That sounded like a Prince/Sinead O'Connor song, didn't it? Or is that just my sleepy mind talking? "I went to the doctor and guess what he told me? Guess what he told me?" Moving on...

The sleepiness was triggered last night. RIght around seven, the boys were playing in a very physical game of basketball in the basement. Gideon army crawled his way up the stairs and laid next to me on the couch, opting out of the action. He said his tummy hurt. I folded laundry and watched him whimper a little as he stared blankly at the couch cushion. About an hour later he said, "Mommy, I can't breathe right!" I asked him why and he said he couldn't take breaths since it made his tummy hurt. When I asked him to point at his tummy where it hurt, he placed his hands over his lungs. He was breathing in a quick and shallow way, and I have to say I was very concerned and nervous and worried. On his own he told me he needed the hospital air that goes in his nose. When I asked him to take a deep breath, he winced in pain. I asked him what that felt like and he said, "Sharp things." I am so thankful that he is able to communicate with me. I have seen so many babies who come to the clinic for treatment and I wonder how excruciating it must be to never know where your baby is hurting, only that he is hurting by his cries.

I called the on-call oncologist and what I described fits perfectly with a respiratory inflammation. Dr. Elliot said to watch him and if he remains lethargic and in pain the next day (today), to bring him in for chest X-rays. Otherwise, the pain does subside. I had many opportunities to check on how he was doing last night since he was up a lot. A lot, a lot. I was awake during a dream, and that dream-reality mix was one trip I don't want to go on again tonight, please. Thankfully, Gideon seemed fine today. So fine in fact that he had enough air for a lot of crying this evening and into the night. I kept reminding myself that his frustrated steroid fits meant that his lungs were healthy. This is how I forced my frayed edges of sleepless nerves smooth again.

Brody, the trooper of the millennia, helped me so much. Gideon kept asking for food and entree after entree he said, "YUCK! I don't want thaaaaaaat! I want __________!" Brody and his observant eyes kept track of me, and I could feel his concern. When I felt I was at the threshold of having my own version of a steroid rager, Brody pulled out "Enchanted" and said, "How about we watch your favorite movie, mommy? Gideon will sit still and not cry, either." I love him. I sunk into the pillows and even felt happy enough to do my own impromptu impersonations of Princess Mommy. Normalcy is Gorgeousy.

Tonight, as I was tucking Brody in, Gideon started screaming at a full blown volume. I am not proud to say that I wanted to match his screams with my own, and I'm pretty sure my facial expression said just that. Brody looked at me and said, "I want to help him, mommy. Please? I'll put myself back to bed." These do NOT sound like the words of a five year old, but I promise you they were the ones that came out of his mouth. A few minutes later, the crying was over and all I heard were lullabies. I went into Brody's room and he said, "He really wanted a different CD in... So I did that and tucked him in. And...Mommy? During the movie, I made you this." He handed me a card with a princess who had long eyelashes, a crown, and flowing hair. Underneath this princess it said "MOM" and an arrow to show just who mommy was: the princess. The boy sucks me into a Hallmark card constantly. I cannot tell you how much he has helped me through this. Even in his prayers tonight he prayed that Gideon's medicine wouldn't only make him crazy, but would make him better. How am I not supposed to cry at that?

So, God answered our prayers for Gideon's lungs to be okay. I may not have a lot of sleep, but I have a lot of my Brody to help when I'm at my wits' end. We're ending each day thankful. (and prayerful for SLEEP to happen tonight and that all of Gideon's organs stay healthy, please...)

5 comments:

  1. Talk about putting life in perspective...wow. God does move in mysterious ways. DS

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  2. That video is a wonderful tribute to your amazing "big brother" son! It is something he will cherish forever!

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  3. Wow, Love reading about Brody! He really is an Amazing big brother. Love how the words in the song match with some of the pictures :)

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  4. Oh my goodness. I swear I cry every single time I read your blog! You don't know me, but a friend of mine (Katie Ouding) posted to your blog on facebook right after Gideon was diagnosed and you started posting. I have been praying with you and reading all along, but have never commented. Seeing your boys together and Brody's compassion and empathy just kills me. I have two boys (1 and 2 years old) and they just started holding hands and hugging each other. I can only pray my sons are as sweet as your two boys at that age!

    You are a great writer and, not only do I appreciate the updates on Gideon so I can pray along with you, but you are thoroughly entertaining as well! Thank you for being real and honest. I love that you can put it all out there!

    I have been telling my husband about Gideon as I read about him and I was so surprised the other day when I saw the promo for "Gideon's Gift!" I shouted at my husband, "that's the boy with Leukemia I have been telling you about!" I forget sometimes that I don't actually know you! Anyway, I set the dvr to record the special because I knew we would be away, but I taped the 5:00 news, not the 5:30 news! Fail. Is the actual broadcast posted anywhere that I can watch it?

    Sorry about this long comment! I am praying and will continue to pray for Gideon, you, and your beautiful family.

    May you be greatly blessed,
    Kelly Meldrum

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