My list

Things I have recently discovered:

1. I have a hard time ripping myself away from the fantasy of a musical. The day after said event, I dress up like one of the characters and sing instead of talk. Not kidding. Every single form of communication with my boys has been altered lyrics to the tune of "Defying Gravity" today (only at home, though...so I guess I still have a fingertip in reality...). I kid you not. Also, I'd like to thank my closet for being so very sequin-stocked. Good thing my boys think I am famous. They really don't mind, and Gideon even cut out flowers to throw at my feet. Mmmmmm... This needs to last.

2. When I was told Gideon's counts weren't high enough to get more chemo today (his white blood cells are too scarce), it kinda felt like I failed a major exam. An exam I really, really studied for, too. I know it's not anyone's fault or that I truly failed, it's just that sinking feeling in that moment. Thursday we will try again with the chemo. Thank goodness for retakes.

3. I used to swat my boys' fingers away when they pointed at anyone with a disability, or an enormous mole on their nose, or someone wearing something odd. Then I'd hiss, "SHHHHH!" and almost cover their mouths. Today I witnessed a mom do that when her little one pointed at Gideon and yelled, "WHERE IS THAT KID'S HAIR?" Gideon and I were at the foodcourt getting some grub at the hospital. I'll be honest: It feels better on my end as I felt more sorry for that crimson colored, mortified mommy than I did for Gideon. It's not a secret he's bald. He knows. It's okay. I had that wow-I'm-on-the-other-side moment. I was all, THIS is how it feels... Weird, and not at all painful!

4. I found myself pouting this morning as I woke up at the break of dawn to get my kids ready for the hospital. Why? Because the REST of the world had a snow day and I DIDN'T. Hmph. There are no chemo snowdays. Wah-wah-wah! Never have I been on this side, either! On the upside, I would still be in my jammies and not wearing a fabulous Glinda-like headband right now and sparkle eye shadow.

5. Since Gideon's counts are so low, he will be at the basketball game during half time only (when the drawing occurs for an ICE watch). Brody and I will be there the entire time. I hope you can come out to Mattawan High School TOMORROW at 7:15 in your orange! (Please? Thank you.)

6. Taking ONLINE courses is NOT for me. Seriously, I am having a real hard time getting motivated to do anything. I guess that shows my immaturity in needing extrinsic motivation: like people.

7. I baked you some brownies, but somehow they have disappeared. Sorry.