Friday, November 5, 2010


Gideon said something last night that completely stunned me into a silent stretch (I know... that I was stunned into silence was stunning in and of itself). My mouth was agape and I just sat there, staring at him. Honestly and truly he came up with this all on his own, and it made me want to cheer him on for being so very in touch with how he feels, and it made me want to cry at the same time. By now you know about his heavy dosage of steroids. It turns our sweet one into a beast from time-to-time. Well, more often than that. I was putting on his jammies last night, and he was staring at me. He wasn't talking for once. I asked him what he was thinking about. This is what he said...word-for-word. I wrote it down as soon as I was able to move again, "Mommy, my body is telling me to hit you hard, but my heart is telling me to hug you and say 'thank you.' I will listen to my heart." He then leaned over and gave me the most gentle hug that lasted a good five seconds. He backed away, delicately placed one hand on each of my cheeks and said, "Thank you, mommy. Thank you for not getting mad when I listen to my body and hit. It makes me really sad when I hurt you. I don't want to hurt you!" Oh, oh, oh! How he was able to articulate what the steroids were doing to him still makes me tear up just in typing that. How is he three? How is he so in touch with his emotions and with the reality of all of this? So many times I feel like I'm going to lose it when he randomly head-butts me or punches my leg with crazy brute force. I have to pray, pray, pray for sweetness and gentle words (especially when I'm overly tired). Listening to him expressing thanks for that... My gosh. He is a gem, people. That's all.

Gideon is looking more like a chemo boy now. His face is puffy and his eyes have very dark circles under them. Sometimes those circles almost look black. His hair is very thin on top, but it's still there. How? I have no clue. Nurse Michelle was guessing that maybe it would fall out all at once, in a matter of a couple days. We shall see. That part does not bother me in the least now. He's held on to it longer than we ever thought he would, and that boy has a soul that can outshine any amount of curly blonde hair. He will be my yellow boy with or without it. Let's just keep him on this planet. That's all. Lose the hair, keep Gideon.

I have noticed that toys are not as exciting to Gideon lately. He does show joy over food. He claps his hands and cheers when I put something in front of him that he's craving. Other than that, he wants to curl up and lay on me. We spend a lot of time on the rocking chair looking at letter books. He knows all of his sounds of every letter and asked me to teach him how to read. Since he is so still and attentive lately, he should be reading in a couple of days... kidding. Although, he said this on his own and it made me want to shout from the rooftops, "I HAVE SUCH A SMART BOY RIGHT HERE!" He said, "The letters a-e-and o sound a lot alike. Are they in a family together?" HE made that connection! HE DID! HE DID! So, I taught him the vowel song and it is now his favorite. We are going to make the most out of these no-energy-I-wanna-puke days. We will and we are.

We have had some added excitement around here. There have been some bumps in the night, and Tom called Animal Removal Service to come out and take a peek at the booming noises from our ducts. He was sure there was some humongous creature in there. I was not looking forward to what would be found. Lo-and-behold, a FLYING SQUIRREL was brought upstairs in his little cage. The boys and I had our own personal science lesson up close and firsthand. I have never seen such an adorable little guy! I wanted to keep him. I really did. Then I was told they pee a lot. So, that ended that dream. But really, he was not mouse cute, he was just CUTE. I loved the way the pest removal company treated this little guy. He was fed an apple and was going to be brought back into the wild. A pest control person who loves animals? YES. This goes against every cartoon I have ever seen, but it is true. This company's goal is to rid your home of animals, but rehabilitate the animals for the wild.

The next night, more bumps. Once again, we calledAnimal Removal Service. Another flying squirrel was recovered alive and safe, as was a BAT. So, these two creatures were coming in through an air duct in the attic. The bat was put in a container without grate holes, but with breathing holes. Gideon, our Batman lover, was ecstatic to look at this bat. He asked all kinds of questions, to which scientific answers were given. These professionals know and love their critters! I tried to pay them for this second removal and was told, "You have enough stress going on with your son's Leukemia. I told Mark, the owner, about your predicament and he told me not to charge you anymore. He has a good heart. Also, I know where these guys are coming in, so I'm going to rig something on the outside of your house right now." That they were concerned with our personal issues was a spa treatment for my soul. What a good, good, good-hearted company. CALL THEM if you have a critter issue, please. They are the BEST! Taking the time to educate my boys before he left, too. I loved that. At his first visit, Gideon did NOT want to partake in his smorgasbord of chemo meds. Since he wanted to impress the Brave-Animal-Trapper, he didn't fight and took them all. So, that's how they knew about our issue...

I TOLD you they are CUTE!

Our little friends were cuter than Rocky!


  1. Love that boy... <3

  2. Thanks for sharing your last night experience.....!!

  3. This is just so amazing. I really like it!