Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Puffy cheeks

Yes. That is Gideon. His face has puffed up tremendously from the steroids. For a little while he looked like a full-cheeked healthy boy, but now he looks like Hollywood tried their hand at adding jowls to his cheeks and a dangling wattle. His little eyes are slivers now and when he talks, his voice is a little distorted from the extra fluff. This is not meant in disrespect, but you know that old joke from our childhood that goes, "Hi. I'm chubby. My mama's chubby, my daddy's chubby, and IIIIIIIII'm chubby. Mama said chubby people can't smile, but I'll show her... (insert chubby smile here and listen for the 3rd grade giggles)..." That one. Or maybe that was a sister joke that Aimee made up (she was and is the funniest and most beautifully ridiculous big sister on the planet). Anyway, you tell that joke mushing your cheeks forward with your hands. Try it. Mush 'em and talk. Well, that's how Gideon sounds. There's that little chubby echo in there. A little swollen morphing of syllables. But I hang on every sound still, I promise.

I watched "Alice in Wonderland" this weekend (the Tim Burton one) and adored it. (This is a sidenote for my baby sister, Annie: Johnny Depp's dance at the end did NOT ruin it. I loved that part...) I can't look at Gideon without seeing the Queen of Hearts and her large head. Gideon is still itty-bitty elsewhere (besides the gas belly tummy), so it is so strange to see him like this. When people come over, he beats them to the chase by saying, "Look at my BIG cheeks! Mommy kisses 'em." Yes, he adds in dashes of adorable at every turn in this cancer fight.

We had a happy weekend, mostly. Gideon has his moments of anger, but he is now internalizing his behavior when he hurts people's feelings and once he comes to his senses, it is heart-shattering. He hit his Oma this weekend who made him a grilled cheese sandwich and "CUT IT WROOOOOOOOOOONG!" I looked at him and said, "Gideon! We do NOT hit!" Once he was over his breakdown and ate the sandwich, totally unprompted he said, "Oma. I sorry I hit you. It was a..." (bottom lip trembles) "! I so sorry, Oma! You ma-a-ad at me?" More sobbing and broken heart hiccups. Oh. Gideon. He does not understand how the medicine is affecting his emotions. He can grasp sharks and fighting sharks, but he doesn't understand this newfound need to unleash on people.



  1. I think your sister made that one up! The one at my house growing up went like this: Uncle Glenn would pinch my cheeks together and then I would say, "Chubby Baby" over and over until we all laughed hysterically. Thinking of you all every day and praying for you....xoxo

  2. We all love chubby cheeks! the boys are making a card to send...we are thinking of you all! The Fitzpatrick's. Ps. hope you are taking some time to dance and sing together!!!

  3. Yeah, that sounds like something Aimee came up with, all right! Another member of the family with a fantastic imagination and oodles of creativity!!

    Awww, poor Gideon. The steroids and 'roid rage are bad enough for adults to handle - I can't imagine what that poor baby is going through when he had those bouts. And it must be so hard to remember, during times of stress and lack of sleep, that it IS the drugs making your sweet child do these things. My heart aches for you as you deal with this... and the prayers keep flowing.
    MUCH LOVE & PRAYERS!!!!!!!
    ~~Aunt Nancy~~

  4. I love his cheeks! He is an angel and I think about him and pray for him all the time. I tell my friends about him, too. I wish I could hold him, but meanwhile, I will pray for God's angels to do that!! God bless you ALL!!! Jenelle