Friday, July 9, 2010

My whining rant... Prepare for a Tinge of Debbie Downer, okay?

Before I start, come to MICHELLE'S GARAGE SALE TODAY! My kids clothes and her kids clothes are there, and we dressed our kids so darn CUTE! Address: 6593 Pleasantview Drive Portage, MI!

Just to let you know, I am typing this blog only because I told my kids I need to be in timeout or I will have a temper tantrum. Yes. They believe me. As they should. Normally I type when it is nap time or bed time, but those two terms are making me snicker a little bitterly right now. Terms that have to do with sleep make me a little hysterical.

Remember how I "couldn't wait" until the steroids kicked in the hunger button? Remember how I also said I would "roll my eyes" at myself later? Not only am I rolling my eyes at my naive past self, I am also talking behind her back. Previous clueless Amanda, you are now going to live out a day today of complete exhaustion. Did you know you were not only getting the hunger, but in some strange twist in plot, the hunger mechanism is strongest at night? Yup. ALllLLllLLll night. Those cute and sweet mini-feasts that once were have morphed into an all-night buffet. This is not an exaggeration, and I wish it was!

Every twenty minutes, a new food was requested throughout the night last night. TWENTY minutes (I couldn't believe it, either. And, I wish-wish-wish this was a product of my love for a good story, ala "Big Fish." Alas, it is not). He wanted everything. Everything you can think of... from grilled cheese to eggs to hamburger to WEIRD suggestions. One that made me think I really was losing my mind was when Gideon requested "strawberries soaked in tea." Yup. And now my kitchen mirrors that of a college frathouse.

Another discovery in this world of steroids is that if I do NOT have the food that was requested: screaming will commence until the food is somehow produced. I cannot believe we ran out of pepperoni pizza. That fit of screaming and gnashing of teeth and throwing bed covers lasted at least an hour. Finally, I somehow made a pizza out of a soft pretzel, herbs, tomatoes, cheese, and pepperoni. Desperate times makes you a Food MacGyver.

So, if you visit today I apologize if I try to pick a flower from your head or something. I am out of my mind exhausted. But I have coffee. I have Five Hour Energy potions. But, my supply is dwindling of both. Maybe I could escape to GROCERY SHOP! Woohoo! Maybe I should shower. Maybe I could invent some sort of inhalant that is released into the shower once the steam hits it. It would have the same effect as caffeine, but with less jitters, and all you need to do it breathe to let it permeate your system. Talk about easy. I guess I would need a chemist for that part, but... I digress.

JULY 13 is the LAST STEROID for this round, anyway. I will have a last steroid party with the family, I think. We will watch a marathon of Strong Man, go punch the punching bag for awhile, and do some push-ups. Fun party, huh? And the creativity button is off. Commence drooling.

...and pancakes were just suggested. I better get on that or things may start breaking.

I'll share one happy miracle to close... Gideon asked for his Shark Fighting Medicine this morning and went straight to his red medicine chair to battle 'em. Below is a picture of this EASY moment. I truly needed an easy moment. Phew.


  1. Oh...My...Goodness!!! You make me laugh and cry all at the same time....I wish I could come over there right now and hang with your boys so you could do whatever it is that you want/need to do...I have a class F-Sun so I can't. Can I come over Monday and help you???

  2. I agree with Michelle about how you can make us all laugh and cry at the same time. I am also glad that you know when you need a "Mommy time out" for yourself. May the force be with you as you create magical food potions today! xoxox

  3. Did you just say "Food Macgyver"? I choked on my lunch laughing. How do you make such a difficult situation so funny? I know you are probably sick of hearing it, but you AMAZE me (and the entire world). Anyone have an Oprah connection? Let's get Amanda on that show and watch as Oprah bestows gift after gift upon her.

  4. YES! I don't have to have an account to comment now. I have been trying and trying, but I am computer illiterate. Amanda, you are astounding. You give me something to ponder and think about every single day. Thank you.

  5. Oh, Michelle is right: tears and laughter all blurred together. I keep saying it but I will say it again. You are handling this situation with such grace, beauty, humor and love. You are amazing. I would LOVE to help!

  6. Hey there,
    Just letting you know we're still praying and thinking of you daily. I love the new t's. We bought a few. And Gideon's most recent pic is SO cute! We're a big fan of chubby cheeks at our house- have you seen Wyatt? We actually call him "cheeks" for a love name :) Hang in there! And put Tom on those late night feasts tonight :) He's a good cook! Give our love to all the fam. You're the best!!! Lots of love, Katie

  7. Gosh, sweetheart, that sounds like me when Jessica was an infant. Did you know she had 24-hour colic for the first 2 1/2 months of her life? Yup... 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. For that entire time, if she slept for even a short while, I had three choices: Sleep, eat, or shower.

    I remember those days so well, I call them the "Lost Summer of 1986." I don't remember what went on in the world, what the weather was like, or anything of the sort. I'm so sorry that you are going through this now - to put it bluntly, it SUCKS. I am hoping that, as I write this, the steroid time is over for now and both you and poor Gideon can get on a somewhat more even keel.

    Still sending lots of hugs, kisses, prayers and positive thoughts your way, even through the murk that my life becomes on occasion!
    ~~Aunt Nancy~~

  8. Still thinking of you all. Congratulations on the little miracles and your small opportunities to vent. By the way, I love Debbie Downer :)

    And congratulations on the huge miracles too, like the post-induction therapy remission!!!!!!!!! I know this comment doesn't really have everything to do with this post, but I've just been reading lotsa posts...

    All of my hope and positivity are being sent your way. Keep up the strength, Super Mom!

    Courtney Stewart