Light

It's parent-teacher conference week! I have never held conferences in this capacity as a music teacher, but now I have the chance to share with parents the way music makes their child's little face shine. There is joy in the face of a child who is engrossed in a melody. There is wonder in the face of a child who has played an instrument for the first time. It's magic, and I get to witness it every single day as a JOB. I am grateful for that. I always want to start my musings with happiness. I never want the weight of the world to rob me of what I have in the here and now, and singing a song with a chorus of boisterous and gregarious children will forever rank high on my list of "WOW" moments.

NEWS: Gideon is going in on Tuesday for spinal chemotherapy and he will be sedated with that. We will find out how he his body is coping with this heavier dosage of daily chemo, as well. In the midst of conference week, Gideon will also begin his steroids. I know it'll be a tough one, but we can make it! Please keep Gideon in your thoughts and prayers.

Speaking of prayers, I need to take this moment to THANK the amazing network of friends and family in my life. Thank you for coming around me, filling my soul, and then also reminding me that I need to stay strong for the good of my boys. Thank you for completely getting the brokenness and the anger that can so easily creep into my heart and make me only focus on life's hardships. It can so easily take control! No amount of strife is going to steal a healthy moment spent with my baby boys.

Brody and Gideon, you are my life's gift from above. As you grow up, I want you to always remember you are not alone. I want you to feel the miracle in a day. Please take the time to grieve, to be angry, to be mad…but get back up and look UP, so you can take your next step in the right direction. Please, please remember the C.S. Lewis quote that says, "An explanation of cause is not a justification by reason." That means that there are reasons, but no excuses. Blaming everyone except yourself is the fool's way to seek validation and an avoidance of taking responsibility for your own life. Please own your life. Be so proud of the way you own it, and you won't feel the need to ever try to justify yourself.

We are always learning. If I can view every challenge in my life as yet another way to mold my soul for the better, then there will be less dark and more light. Closing my eyes in anger will never help me to see the light, so I will pray to focus on that which is pure, lovely and good. All I have to do is open my eyes and it is there. And if I can't open my eyes, I have friends who will pry them open for me with a crow bar, but they happily offer me eye drops afterwards. Tough love for tough times!