Gideon, Gideon, Gideon... You baffle this mommy with your bravery. One of my best of best friends told me to go to my mental Grand Marais (favorite place in the Universe, and in the Upper Peninsula), so that's what I did. This may seem crazy, but the more our family goes through this journey, the more I feel like every individual puts out his/her own energy. Just being with someone without even talking can either calm me or stress me out -- more so than ever. I always want to be a calming person to Gideon. So, I packed my mental suitcase, listened to the waves, hiked back to a waterfall, and asked God to take over. Then Gideon and I had a sit down conversation about what was to come (Brody happily went to school...he did not want to experience this whole double-muscle-shot ordeal).
I told him that he usually gets his chemo in his port, but today the nurses were going to put it in his legs. I said that this chemo fights the biggest of the sharks so that they don't cluster together and make big bumps in his body, called tumors. We don't want tumors at all. This entire time Gideon was nodding and listening and looking into my eyes with his sweet baby blues. He answered, "Okay. So, they have to get shots?" I answered yes, and Gideon said, "Well. I won't cry. I'll be brave. I don't want shark tumors." I had to smile at him and then explained that as the chemo goes into his leg, it was going to hurt, but that is GOOD! That means the war started and the good fishies are doing their jobs in there. If it hurts, they are winning! I told him it was okay to cry, and that I would hug him the entire time. He answered, "I won't cry. It's okay if it hurts. It hurts when the sharks go away!" and he smiled at me with his huge-eye-disappearing smile. I'll have Gideon as my main course, with a side of his giggle, please.
I had Pandora Radio on as I was talking to Gideon (there is always music...) playing "Gideon music", and the song I posted below came on. I never heard it before, and it was so perfect. I know I'm cheesy. Super cheesy. I really can't help it. Call it a part of my aura. Anyway, this song obviously made me cry but it comforted me at the same time. The song was just another reassurance from above, and so Gideon and I danced to it.
When we got to the clinic, Von and Bridget (at the front desk) looked at me with sad, sad eyes since they knew what was coming. They scoured the toy closet for something extra special for Gideon. I love them. AND! Diane the Music Therapist was there! Gideon was so happy to see her and immediately requested "Wheels on the Bus." Both Nurse Melissa and Nurse Michelle gave Gideon the shots at the same time. I squeezed him tight, prayed, went to Grand Marais and kissed his flushed cheeks. "Okay! I'm ready!" Gideon announced. The nurses counted 1-2-3 and Gideon said, "YAY! I did it!" without a tear. Once the bandaids were on, he jumped off of my lap and hugged Michelle and Melissa like, "Thanks for being a part of the battle." I just sat there stunned.
Awe. Everyone was in awe. I had no idea how rare it was for a child to not cry, but I was told the whole hospital can usually hear the screams. Bridget and Diane said in all of her years working there, they never had a child not cry. The entire desk staff, other sweet patients at the clinic, and the nurses gathered around Gideon and cheered for him, the Shot Rockstar. He was beaming and so very proud. May I say I was exceedingly amazed and thankful? Again, prayers were answered! If anything, I feel like this was a stronger bonding moment for Gideon and his clinic rather than a situation that made him hate it. I am brimming over with gratitude and thankfulness! You people reading this Blog have strong direct lines to the Big Man Upstairs, I know it! THANK YOU for those prayers!