Saturday, October 9, 2010


Brody said it best yesterday, "I really like having this piece of quiet." I know he meant "peace and quiet," but I like how he said it better. This is a piece of time that I will look back to and remember and feel gratitude for these moments. Gideon is feeling great and Brody's anxiety is diminishing. It's autumn. It's football season. There have been crazy beautiful days thrown in, and the sun has been a blissful reminder of how blessed we are. The here-and-now is incredible.

It has been a respite before the storm that is coming... I know I need to look ahead so that I can prepare my heart for what we'll face next. The new chemo phase will begin with lab checks on Friday, October 15 and then Delayed Intensification will begin on October 18 if everything checks out. Honest truth: My eyes immediately teared up when I typed those two words that I have been dreading (Delayed Intensification). Gideon will begin his daily dosage of Decadron (steroid that made the sweetness of my boy a rarity) on the 18th as well as Vincristine, a new chemo called Doxorubicin, Methotrexate through the spine, Cutoxan, ARA-C, and oral 6 Thioguanine. That is Day One. All in just Day One. Never has he had that much in him. There are so many drugs - new ones. After viewing the possible side effects, I signed off saying that "I understand the risks." Really? Do I? The answer is I understand what could happen if we don't go through with this phase, and that is far worse. I have had many people ask me what this chemo will look like, and with the beautiful way Gideon handled the last phase, I am praying that he will do the same with this one. I want him to wow the clinic with his textbook perfect treatment with no drama interfering with it, please. I realize he will not be himself. I am soaking and basking in the sunshine that is my little honey now and searing the memories of his easy laugh in my heart for the difficult times on the way. My iflip has never seen so much action. If it's okay, I think I'll stop with Day One in what I report. I feel myself dipping a bit in my optimism and the "DAY AT A TIME" philosophy has been the perfect one through it all.

Along our day-at-a-time journey, we have met a new angel: Lila Armock. Lila offered to take pictures of our family when she heard about what was going on, and now was the best time to do that. When I emailed her to see if she was still interested, she changed her plans to come out to Portage (she is from Rockford) to shoot us. Not only did she donate her time, but her artistry as well. I cannot get over the way she captured our boys' personalities so perfectly. She froze this healthy moment-in-time completely. Please check her out:
Our Family Pictures


  1. Amanda~Your family is absolutely beautiful and the family photos are wonderful. It was a beautiful day and the boys are so happy! You don't know me, but I found out about your site from a mutual friend and have been reading it from the beginning. My oldest son is a few months younger than Gideon. When we stop by the site, my son always wants to feed the fishies :) We think of your entire family often. I hope this next round goes well.

  2. Dear Amanda,
    we loved taking time to look at the pictures - what an awesome time to capture the moment and to celebrate family, spouses, kids, and the wonderful love of God that is uniting you in faith hope.

    With this new phase, starting Monday, we decided to do what the treatment does - intensify ... our prayers before God, pray for every drug, every dose of steroids, and plead that the Almighty God will make them work. We pray that the "piece of quiet" will come back often during this next phase, and that your hearts and souls would find solace and rest in God's warm and caring hands. His hands are the ones that have Gideon, fully and completely.

    You are a brave mother and wife - may God keep your spirit filled with his comforting presence, with the "peace and quiet" that comes from the Spirit of God.

    We also pray for Tom's work, for a "piece of quiet" in his daily routines, and for the energy and patience that he needs to muster in such a time as this.

    Love to all of you, Zea, David, Felicia and Daniel